DragonAge II: Trolling is fun
by The Fool Arcana
Summary: "How is it you get into these situations so often?" "What do you mean?" "Hmm. Attacked by dwarves, approached by strangers, stumbling upon ancient riddles... madness." "It's a gift." "Hah! Well I think you should return it!" "I'm kidding. It's because we have the Hero of Ferelden as a traveling buddy!" "What-hey! Don't pin this on me! Fenris! It's both myself and Hawke's fault"HOLD


**Prologue**

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_"I want to protect the person important to me… I want to work for that person. I want to fight for that person. I want to make that person's dream come true… That is my dream"— Haku Yuki (Naruto)._

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So after being shot into the world of DragonAge-Origins and becoming the Hero of Ferelden, having Alistair sleep with Morrigan so no one had to die, becoming the Commander of the Grey Wardens, dealing with the crap in Amaranthine, you would think I would get a break, right? Well wrong. It's now a year later and here I find myself in Kirkwall. The sad thing is…my sense of time has been fucked up with all the shit that went down with me. I mean I just played DragonAge II and bam, I became the fricken warden—oh…right. Way ahead of myself. Let me totally re-wind this…now keep in mind this will be different from that blasted cursed video game and the damn whatever deity there is out there that likes to jerk us around by our balls (even if we don't have those…specific body parts.) Crap. Back on topic. Right. Okay so let's start over! Here we go—damn it. Ser-Pounce-Alot just stole my extra quill…oh well. Enough distractions! Let's get on with this story-…er…tale? Epic mind fucked journey. Yeah that one fits better…well Epic mind fucked journey adventure story-…..sorry I sorta get distracted and carried away…please throw a brick at me—okay now I'm serious. Here we go FOR REAL!

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_Traveling out of Lothering was fine and dandy, ending up getting caught up as the stupid Blight caught up with us so fast, which caused Alistair, Morrigan, Leliana, and the faithful Mabari hound named Madara (For certain reasons. That dog sure could troll!). "Never again! I will never listen to Alistair when he says go right and then everyone ends up going left!" Ion threw her arms in the air as she gave a pissed off growl. Storming her way around and amazingly not being jumped by darkspawn, the 5'9, blue haired mage, wearing an organization thirteen cloak female paused. Well at least let's look on the bright side! 'I'm in my favorite video game, I'm somehow a mage—and oddly enough I can cast spells without a staff.' Arms crossed she gave a nod to herself, 'It seems it is true. It's just for focus! Damn…now I want a wand and be all Expecto Patronum!' head cocking to the side the young woman blinked at what she was now seeing, "…Oh! Giant Ogre about to kill-…Bethany Hawke?" diving into action (more like skidding into the mess and shoving the two women aside); Ion snapped and grinned, "Burn baby, burn!" oh how she loved Axel! Watching the ogre pretty much fry, she turned and gave a salute, "Okay! Bye!"_

_"What in the…."_

_"W-wait!"_

_"Hey!"_

_"Sir!"_

_Ion quickly high tailed it out of there shouting so they heard; "ION!" with that she was back on track, being smacked upside the head by Morrigan after arriving back to the group. Well seems she saved Bethany. Huh that would fuck shit up for them…but hey wasn't like she would ever see them! She was on Origins! Yup…totally…shit. This is right up there with **I don't like this **and **What could possibly go wrong.** Well oh well. Fate and Destiny is gonna screw everyone over at any time, any moment, any place—"Oh Alistair look! Forgotten cookies!"_

_"…'tis a wonder she was not jumped by the spawn."_

_"It seems the Maker is on her side."_

_"A cookie? Really? Maybe she hit her head…"_

_"…I can hear you three…"_

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**_Year after the Blight...__  
_**

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Ion jumped a foot in the air at the sweet gentle voice. Turning a bit slowly, long bangs coming out from under the hood the Hero of Ferelden pointed at none other than Bethany Hawke, "The girl I saved!" well shit. Plan failed. Find Anders went down the drain like that. Yup. Oh it really did—hey this meant she could meet Fenris—holy shit Hawke was a female. YAY! A perplexed look came onto her face (Which was hidden by her hood), 'Okay Lyrium does screw with you…more so if you are from another world. Dude…we would have Lyrium junkies instead of pot junkies.' The thought had her snorting.

"Well…Hawke going to introduce me?"

Oh sweet. The chest haired dwarf Varric-…damn. Oh look Carver was there too! The tit—heh tit.

"Oh yes. Heroic person who's gender we do not know meet Varric. Varric meet Heroic person whose gender we do not know!" Hawke spoke with a flourish of her gloved hand with an amused expression. Though her eyes held such curiosity in them. The blue peeking out…yeah it had to be and no one else would have such cloaks. This person was the one who saved Bethany a year ago.

"Sisters. I don't think it is wise to…" Carver's voice died as he watched gloved hands slip a hood down to show flowing blue hair as bright as his older' sisters eyes, "Bloody hell…you're the hero of Ferelden!" of course his voice carried and had people staring.

Ion rubbed the back of her neck with a sheepish grin as her amethyst eyes (oddly enough colored contacts became real and it hurt…at first), "Me? Hero? No, no. I'm just a wandering…odd…person?"

Bethany was in awe as she grasped Ion's hands in her own, "You saved my life…I cannot possibly find anyway in my life time to—eep!" jumping back a bit wide-eyed, Bethany held her cheek.

Hawke burst into laughter, "Bethany…! You got a kiss from the Hero!" holding her sides, Hawke continued to laugh. It was cute how her sister got so flustered from the out of nowhere kiss.

Varric raised an eyebrow, "Well then…I think it would be best if you put your hood back up." Watching as the other did so the dwarf sighed, "Heh…go figure you would know the Hero of Ferelden, Hawke."

"Actually no idea who the shit you people are." Ion grinned happily as her statement made everyone else shut up and realize. She really wouldn't have any idea. Yay! Time to troll…muwahahaha!

"…She just went muwahahaha. I think I like her."

"Sister!"

"Carver…let it be."

"...Oops did I "Muwahahaha" out loud?"

"Indeed you did, Slayer."

"Slayer?"

"Nickname for now."

"I like dwarfs."

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**A/N**

This is my totally fail start at a fanfic for DAII. If you read to this part I thank you.

If you decided to Review/Favorite/Alert I thank you.

I'm totally doing this cuz I just replayed Origins, Awakening, and II each story, each DLC over again x_x I have the time cuz I'm in a tricked out RV still heading back to California from the damn family road trip to New York. Darn family ruinions. Thankfully I bought the games for the PC before we left! Yay! Okay so side tracked. If you have any questions lemme hear them! I'll try to answer.

Oh also I love when people judge authors by their joining date. Please feel the sarcasm even if it is hard xD! I was here for like...eight, nine, or seven years...can't really recall. Orginal account I couldn't get back into, then I got another one and couldn't get into that one...so this one was made! Well anyways this is my first time doing a DA thing o3o so I shall admit that! But this isn't my first OC Insert or OC/SI Insert! My specialities are these and Xovers! Okay brick me to shut me up-guh! -bricked-


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